I wasn't able to sleep yesterday when I came home from being on-call. Then, I had to stay up late and watch Desperate Housewives (my weekly guilty pleasure) (I've finally managed to force Chris into watching it with me), so I only got five and a half hours of sleep after that. I worked today, which was doubly hard knowing that most of America had the holiday off. It was a shorter day than usual because of the holiday, so I only had two cases (hysterectomies) and two pre-ops to do. Nevertheless, it was still an eleven hour work day.

The senior resident whom I was on call with Saturday never complains about the grueling schedules. She immigrated from an Eastern European country several years ago and spent years gearing up here (working in research labs, taking her standardized tests), before she could even apply to residencies: steps that Americans don't have to experience. Nevertheless, she is so appreciative of getting this residency, in a desired specialty, in a cosmopolitan US city, in a stepping stone to a future well-paying job... that nothing is worth complaining about.

I don't have the same appreciation. I complain every day, internally or to my closest friends in the program. I have to remember that I could have it much worse, but what should I use to remind myself? I don't have enough hardships anymore other than my job. I need some perspective, but my brain is too exhausted to get inspired. It's 8 pm now, maybe I'll head to bed so I can catch up on my sleep deficit.