Slowing down and taking a deep breath

Boston drivers are notorious for being aggressive and insane. I didn't get my driver's license until I was 21-- and I got it in Boston, after learning how to drive in Boston. Knowing how dangerous Boston drivers are, it is therefore incredible that I'm still one of the fastest drivers on I-93 and I-95 in the mornings on the way to work.

I know it's reckless, but it was part of my whole lifestyle of rushing here to there, walking fast, being impatient with others, and stressing out about everything. It scared me to see the consequences of motor vehicle accidents, which I see first-hand quite often, in the operating room. Fractures, head injuries, flirtations with death. But it was never enough to change my ways.

It finally struck me this weekend though. I was driving with Chris, and he became visibly and vocally afraid for our lives. I've therefore made a conscientious effort to change this week, sticking to the slowest lanes and taking a relaxed pace. From this angle, I sometimes see the fast lanes, with the cars driving too fast, and jerks tailgating and cutting one another off. I feel glad that I'm no longer a part of that.

I still somehow managed to get to work early, as did S. We set up our rooms, met with our patients, put in an IV, and even had time to get breakfast together. We've decided to make it a habit, of getting there early enough so that we could have breakfast together before the surgeons get there.

The real highlight of my day was when my first patient admitted how scared she was that I was going to be responsible for her anesthesia during surgery. She said I looked too young to be a doctor, and that I looked like a college student. I tried to reassure her by letting her know that I was soon to turn 30. The other week a frail old lady said in front of the entire room, "You can't be a doctor! You look like a kid! I feel like I'm on an episode of Doogie Howser!"

I couldn't have been happier :-).